It dawned on me today that I am a complete slob…no seriously! I am! Most of the times I make a complete fool of myself, make crazy jokes that have bad timing and always and never take anyone serious! But that does not mean that I’m unhappy about it or anything….i like being me! I like it that I can’t take a glass of water from the kitchen to the table without spilling some. I like that I’m always falling from the steps when I’m rushing around with papers in my hands. I like that I can spend any amount of time with a complete stranger and yet make a thoroughly meaningful conversation with them. I like that when someone thinks of fun they think of me.
But then it gets to me…. I’m too nice! I’m always taken for granted. And there is no one else to blame for this but me! The problem there is, that I can’t say no to anybody! Whether I’ve known them for years, months, minutes or just a matter of mere seconds the word ‘no’ is just impossible to hear from my mouth! Why? Why is it so difficult for me to say no to something I really don’t like to do? Why is so difficult for me to say no to something even if I’m really tired and just cant manage to do it?
The answer has not been easy to find and when I did find the answer it was difficult to accept. I wanted everyone to like me….. no it wasn’t that…I just didn’t want anyone to dislike me because I said ‘no’! I don’t honestly care what people think of me because a wise person said to me – “character is what you are and reputation is what others make of you!” So it really didn’t bother me if everyone liked me but it mattered to me when someone said they didn’t!
But now growing up has taught me this- just because someone doesn’t like you, you’re not going to stop living! So why let something as trivial as that bother you? So today I take a resolution that the decisions I make are going to be made strictly on the basis of ‘me’!
I am going to learn to say ‘no’ but knowing me even then I’ll add…… “ no thank you but I’m so sorry I wont be able to complete this for you. Actually its because…….” I will be finding excuses even then.
Looks like this is something I have got to live with or probably just leave to time to change!
1 comment:
u've tried explaining it to me... but i've never understood it from u... coz it's like maybe as u say... u need the time and space for it... maybe later on... u shall be able to explain it more efficiently...
i loved the last two paragraphs... we always end up trying to justify... maybe thats why i am still finding it within me as to why i should get over someone?
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