Saturday, June 27, 2009

HV-forever and for always!

I have been putting this off for too long…but I think its time now to let the world know about a certain someone who within the past few months has created an incredible effect on my life that I myself find it funny to really acknowledge the fact that someone can mean so much to you. I never really thought that we would keep in touch after that fateful meeting but we did! After that if ever I needed to cry or to bitch about something or just for the sake of talking to someone he was always there- unconditionally!
This post is a dedication to HV for always being my rock! I owe you big time! And yes…it might just sound cliché but I really have no words to express the amount of gratitude I have. Thank you and I hope we stay friends for life!

Sunday, May 17, 2009

listening and hearing

i was once asked by someone really special about why i found it hard to express my real feelings without giving a damn about what other people thought! at that point in time i really had no idea what the hell she was actually saying but years later when i sit thinking about it i realise now that maybe i should have paid more attention.

i was once asked by someone really special about why i found it so hard to speak the truth and believe in it with full conviction! at that point of time i knew that i wasnt going to pay any attention to this lecture but years later when i sit thinking i realise that i should have really listened and not just heard.

i was told by a really smart person who i had known for about 5 minutes before he told me this- "there is always a difference with listening and hearing!" i argued all the way but gave up towards the end when all he said was this- "if you had listened and not just heard what i said you would have won this argument! i was just spinning words to prove a point!"

Thursday, May 7, 2009

My Silver Lining

2000-2005:
A normal day! Running around a crowded class-room; following friends to busy lab sessions; hiding in the library; peering and peeking from the big windows; leaving gifts in desks on birthdays; fighting over movies, music, food, football!!! Fun-times! 5 years of spending time with people who are on the same wave-length as you. Making friends for a life-time!

2005-2009:
It was one of those usual days when i was sitting around with nothing to do when i suddenly had the urge to talk to someone i could just blabber to and not make any sense and that wouldnt matter either. But its me we are talking about... nothing comes easy! I decided to call AAK. Dialed and then answered and for the first time in the 9 years that i have known him- the weridest thing happened- i was brushed aside- not intentionally but still done! I hung up not knowing what to do or say! Me- the biggest chatter-box of all times was silenced for the first time and why... because i havent moved on with time and i failed to notice that my friends had! I just took it for granted that they were all just where i was- back in time where probabaly i had happiness and everybody had time for everyone. The last time we had a serious discussion I realised that i had never really stuck by him through anything. Not that i didnt want to ...but i was lost myself to really help anyone else. But come to think of it now- I really wish that i had atleast been brave enough to support! There have been times since that day and before that day as well when I landed up cursing myself for being the person that I am. Its true what they say - Its difficult letting go of the people you love and for me- as much as i hate admitting it- im not that gud with sharing as well! But then it strikes me- people are not possessions to be shared or called your own! At some point of time they all will have to move on!

PRESENT TIME:
Im not worried that distance will seperate me from my friends! For now i dont have many things to be happy about but i know one thing for sure- taken from my favorite-John Mayer- The circle of your friends defend the silver lining. They are the only people that i look for ward to for happiness and no brushing off will make me let go! It was unintentional and im keeping it that way. I have to accept that there will always be people other than me in my friends' lives! Its time to move on and make a mark for myself. I live with the optimism that some day from now i will be closer to them in heart and distance. Some day from now I will be one with them again...

Tuesday, March 10, 2009

My '25'.


Before I go to bed today I thought I would just write down something that was asked of me by a friend and for starters...as usual…I’m sorry that this is coming so late!

Ok for most people who think you know me... you don’t! So... 25 random things about me...


1) The most important thing in my life is my family. I adore my Brother, have great regard and respect for my Dad and just absolutely love my Mom.

2) I love the rains! And I actually prefer crying in the rain... no one really asks why your eyes are red then. But on a more serious note... I love the feel of the prick on a rain drop on your face when you’re driving in the rain.

3) I hate any other flavor for ice-cream except chocolate. I pride myself on being the best choser of ice-creams at BR.

4) I'm a complete romantic. I could spend an entire day reading crappy, cheesy, sleazy romantic novels about some drama queen who couldn’t find her shoe!

5) I love Sit-Com's! From the ones with class to the ones that make no sense at all... I can watch them all!!!

6) I love the color Blue! Anything that color makes me feel nice on the inside and it’s the same feeling with White too! And yes...black makes me look fat and white makes me look thin! That’s exactly how topsy-turvy things are!

7) If I had one wish...I would wish that my life was a Fairy- Tale! I absolutely love fairy tales and know almost every single one of them by heart and I'm also one of the biggest fans of Disney!

8) I detest cooking! I don’t understand how you can spend an entire day slogging your ass off and then eat all that you just made! Weird!

9) I hated reading books but the recent few years have shown me that the saying is true- ' A book can be your best friend'. After all it shows you exactly what you want to see. How would anyone not like it!

10) I love my palate and absolutely relish food... that other people make! I love spicy food...it should bring a tear to your eye and make your nose wrinkle!

11) I'm a complete movie-holic! I can watch any movie under the sun but I like the romantic- comedies best and if I really like the movie I can watch it like a million times and still not get bored.

12) I know it will be contradicting if I say that I get bored fast… but Trust me I do! Movies and ice cream are probably the only things I don’t tire of but everything else is there!

13) I love being in the spotlight. It’s a completely new feeling every time you win something or when you are No.1! As for me...No.1 is most important!

14) Dairy milk- without nuts or anything in it is my most favorite chocolate. I hate white chocolate...C'mon...chocolate is brown for Gods sake!

15) I am one of the best liars the world has seen and believe me...its not like people don’t ask me if I'm in the right profession or not!

16) I'm a window shoppaholic! I love going in with a bunch of friends, trying on some stuff and then walking out without buying anything. Its awesome fun! I have references!

17) I have the General Knowledge of a 'pea'. I cant stand anything that has anything to do with politics and besides there is nothing to read in the papers these days except who bombed who... c'mon... either do something to stop it or completely shut up!

18) I'm the most indecisive person you can find! I 'm just really confused always and can’t stand more than 2 choices. If there are 3 I just run like the wind!

19) I love poetry. Anything that has a jingle to it is good for me.

20) I'm 0% ‘not’ photogenic! Most of times u don’t find me in photos because I’m hiding from the camera and if I’m in the photo then I either look like a Hispanic or my teeth are just sticking out!

21) Which brings me to point 21- I'm very conscious about my teeth? I have weird teeth! For those bothering to read these…don’t stare at my teeth to check the next time I meet you.

22) I love sun signs! I'm Aquarius for all those who don’t know and I just have to read the papers every morning to find out what’s in my horoscope for the day! That is after I read the entertainment page and the Editorial page- if the topic interests me!

23) I can’t stand roses. I'm more of the Daisies girl. I love long walks especially when walking on the beach- chappals in one hand and sand running through your feet. The feeling always brings out a sense of happiness in me. I love Sun, Sand and Sea.

24) Three things that could make me cry of happiness- the feeling of ice on my tongue; pani puri- i just love the crackling sound in my mouth and the old numbers that remind me of the dances I danced for at the socials in school!

And yes....finally the one…the only...No.25

25) I believe that by saying that I’m different and I’m unique and I’m not like the rest of 'em just makes you one among the people who are saying that they are different and your still part of a crowd!

And trust me...that’s one big crowd!
Cheers!
Ciao.

Monday, February 16, 2009

M.C.C.

one-side love... mobiles ons silent mode... bus stand comedies... escape from seminars... last period cuts... birthday treats... last minute preparations... over night study for the next day exam... friend's family functions... internal marks problems... mass bunk for a film... eager wait for feb 14th... shortage of pocket money and attendance... fights...tears...debates... conversation classes... stupid crushes... noisy lunchtimes... political strikes... irritating watchman... one day tours... fashion shows... centenary celebrations... department events... strict and unstrict teachers... gangs...


this is what im taking back from the 100 year old lady-Malabar Christian College. As i walked to the bus stop today i realised that even though i hate accepting the fact... i might just miss this god-forsaken place! and why...i wish i had just one reason!

Tuesday, February 10, 2009

KAIZORA '06-'09


this was by far the weirdest day ever! it was a day when i was happy and sad together... confused and finally settled on something at the same time... inferior and the centre of attraction... and all this at the same time! for the first time in a long time today i felt beautiful. today i was on top of the world and down in the dumps at the same time and thats what made this one stand out so much from the other bothersome days that i have gone through.


today friends became friends again. today life took a new turn. today lessons were learnt. today was an energy booster.
...............................................................

today was plain WORTH-WHILE!

Monday, February 9, 2009

this just in... was going through a friends list where 25 things on that list described exactly what she was. I couldnt even think of 10. That is how bad the situation is.
..............................

I need to take time to get to know the real me again. Looks like its time to get back to who i am. Not having an identity is one thing but trying to be something your not is just not acceptable.

Sunday, February 8, 2009

what one failure can do!

Its weird now...when your sitting in a class full of people who you have known for the past three years and your as alone as you were when you first set foot into this college.

Thats how alone you feel when realisation strikes you that there is no one you call your own but yourself. At the end of the day... only you will be there for yourself!

As for the people who thought were your friends... its time to think again and ask yourself if it was all worth it or are they just people you do nothing but compromise your identity for?

At this time, the only thing that floats through my head is what a friend once told me- " There is no such thing as real love in this world. Its all either for some selfish reason or just because we cannot live alone."
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I agree now!

one of these days!

im closing in on the end of the academic year, im confused and mom is screaming her lungs out saying it is time for me to be focussed! im not really sure what i want to do and where im finally going to go but one thing is for sure... there are only a few things that im going to keep with me from this place...one being experience! its funny how people always said that 'if u survived Georges, you can survive anywhere'. i think 'if u can survive MCC, u can rule the world'.
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i have just decided now within the few seconds that i got free without my phone ringing that i will do something with my life and this time nothing is going to stand in the way!

absolutely nothing!

Thursday, January 15, 2009

will we ever be really ready for life?

Its funny to think sbout the effect that some people can have on you. They effect you in such a way that you never know how you're going to react to it and thats what surprises you about yourself!
Someone wise told me that all you need to survive in this world are a hard heart, the ability to 'kiss-ass', a competetive spirit and tons of ambition. Now someone please correct me if im wrong- Napolean was poisoned; Caesar was stabbed; Hitler committed suicide and even Mahatma Gandhi though different from all these 'so-called qualities' was assasinated.
So now there are only two conclusions: 1: The person who told me was completely dumb and 2: You never know what life is going to throw at you so give up trying to be completely ready because life is something that happens to you after you have made all your fool-proof plans!

Thursday, January 1, 2009

bye 2008; hello 2009!

The start of a new year and the only thing running through my head is- Resolutions! Will I keep the ones I made? Do I really have the perseverance to make it through another hard year? Just like India has suffered I have lost! At a point in the past year there have been times when I hated the face I saw when I stood in front of the mirror. I hated the fact that I was gullible by choice and that would never change no matter what! I hated the fact that I was the last one to know when a friend was in trouble! I hated the way I reacted to it! I hated quite a lot of things!
It’s funny how people go their whole lives believing something and then somewhere down the lane they find out that all that was a lie and this is what they call Life. Life- there is no book that can teach you how to live it! It just comes- how shall I put it- Naturally!

So to a boring 2008 I bid adieu and its hello to 2009! This year I’m sticking to the resolutions I’ve made… after all you learn from experience that some resolutions are better kept for a happier and brighter future!

For all those of you who actually read what I just wrote- hats off!! On a more serious note…here’s wishing all of you a happy, prosperous and peace filled New Year!

Good luck and god bless!
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