Monday, November 15, 2010

The Givers of Life

Someone wise once said on a random google search page that "Home is the place where it feels right to walk around without shoes” and it is true.

this is the first time in years where i have wished to go home. and now i am. to hug my dada. to rest my head in my mom's lap. to play ball with my brother. to gossip with my aunts. to babysit my cousins. to witness the birth of a new baby. a new relationship. Home is where my heart is.

this sudden urge to go home is not owing to the fact that i am sick and would be better of at home. this post is because i realize that i am no one without the people back home. this post is to thank the two people who brought me into this world. this post if for my parents.

this post is dedicated to all those kids who suddenly find themselves alone- look behind you. your family is just a call away.

this post is to all the parents of the world but especially to mine- for making the person i am. i am strong because of you. i am brave because of you. i am me because of you. and i only hope and pray that i am and become half the individual that you want me to be because you two are two of the most beautiful individuals on this earth together and apart.

you make me proud.

p.s. Ma, We 4 are the World! (M3JK):)

Thursday, November 11, 2010

this has been put off for a really long time but then again i can still hear my heart in my mouth every time i cough. This past week has been about nothing but rest and major amounts of sleep. all the sleep i have missed this semester. all the dreams that were waiting to be seen. all the realities that we were ready to be acknowledged. everything. this week did that for me.
it all started out with a random conversation with a friend at around 01:30 am and the next thing i know i've decided to take a bike trip to HCU at that time of the night. so i came back and changed into something more comfortable and carried a bag with little things like food and water too. when i stepped out to go i was so pumped-it was unbelievable! i hadn't felt like that in a really long time.
it normally takes 40 minutes or more by bus if you want to get to HCU(Hyderabad Central University)-it took us 25. the minute iset foot in there, it was cold. chilly. like i could smell the unpollutedness(if there is such a word)of the air inside and it was mesmerizing. Four hours of circling the campus and i still had so much more to see but then my human instincts of hunger had to come in the way so we left. there is something i have not mentioned- when we left campus he did tell me that there was a surprise in store. i had forgotten about it until we left the campus and he said-" when i tell you to hang on tight, you hang on tight. got it?" i remember vaguely thinking-ya right! what could be so surprising? but was i in the most awesomest ride ever.
so we are still riding.riding.riding. and then he says it and i can see the road- a curve, a downhill, an uphill and then a curve again. nice road i thought. smooth road. i clung on tightly. as tightly as i could and was i glad i did. at 110km/hr that has got to be one of the finest moments ever. the surge of adrenaline.the wind beating at your ears. a roller coaster ride without getting in one.
well...we did get back in one piece and after breakfast at Reddy's, i treated myself to an amazing nap.
now here comes the hard part- i caught a cold. i thought-hah! its just a cold...it will pass! it did not.i was cold. my body ached. it went on to be a fever. then my body was burning up. and then i couldnt taste what i was eating. all because i ignored a common cold.


moral of the story: If you have caught it, treat it!

Sunday, September 19, 2010

The city of Joy

so on the 16th of july i realise that my life has been nothing but a series of plans that have and have not worked...the latter being the more relevant one so i decided that i was going to pack my bags and leave-go anywhere-go do something that i had never done before. not make any plans but just follow what my heart was telling me to do and my head was objecting to.
so i book tickets to one of the places that i have always wanted to visit my entire life and i find that there are 2 tickets left...just my luck! :) so ya...i go. with one bag, eyes full of dreams and nothing but love in my heart- i go to the city of joy!
a train ride through the north of India and i am ecstatic. its unbelievable how similar it looks to the south. when i was growing up people always said that the north was a barren land- and rajasthan was the example but what they forgot to mention was that punjab was also a part of that very same north of India.
it was awesome looking out of that window and knowing that this was the first of many such trips to come and the idea sent a jolt down my spine- i was growing up. i was travellign alone.to a new place. and it felt good.
The city of joy opened its heart out to me with a splash and a nice one too! but as i crossed the howrah bridge the feeling of being there was mesmerising. it felt like home. and i had never been there before. the smell of the roads filled with food stalls all over and the mouth-watering sweet shops- i lose words when i have to write about them. my highlight about the place was something the people there call-"puchka"! i love it. the way it crackles in my mouth when it bursts. the spicy water that goes down your throat- refreshing.
walks on the street there, long awaited meetings with friends, and just randomly sitting around talking. there was nothing more i could have asked for from this trip.
when i left to come back to where i supposedly belong atleast for the next few months it was heartbreaking... and as i got on that train and travelled back the same way i had gone there it felt like i had left a piece of me there and i knew then...i knew...

that i would have to go back there someday to reclaim what was mine. to reclaim what i had willingly given to "the city of joy".

Thursday, July 1, 2010

I ask you this-JD

so thought for the day- why dont rebounds ever get recognized for the good they do?? i mean...if you look at it they are so underestimated and go unnoticed most of the times! i find that both revolting and sad.
look at it this way...you would rather remember the name of the person who broke your heart into a million pieces than the name of the person who sits by your side, offers you tissue and picks up all those tiny pieces of that broken heart and fixes them back together.
you would rather remember the pain caused than the times when even through a falling tear there is a small smirk that comes to your lips.
you would rather live with all the pain than walk that extra mile to being happy.
it all finally comes down to priorities: do you want to waste your life being sad or do you want to take that little extra effort and get your life back on track?

Wednesday, June 23, 2010

i really wish i was someone's priority. but then i console myself saying that i love the freedom i have now. god knows what will happen over the next few years.

maybe im just worried...i grow old by the day. i see friends getting married, getting into long-term relationships, friends in relationships getting to better heights and then i ask myself...why not me? where is life taking me? what does it have in store for me?
and the answer is so simple and one that im now used to accepting -
at a big question mark!

but thats ok. it not like i have a problem with it. im optimistic enough and will not stop dreaming. in a recent status message one of friends wrote- i love happy endings! i agree! i love them too. and i wait for mine...

Tuesday, March 30, 2010

Alive.Flawed.Human.


It’s funny how we are always surrounded by people…and yet the sense of loneliness just gets to you. You try to stop it. You try to resist it. You try to fight it. You try to ignore it. And finally when it just does not go away… You accept it.

It’s like some people find it difficult to share a chocolate with somebody else. Some want to and cant because they don’t have anyone to share it with. Some just give up eating the chocolate. As for some, after a point of time the chocolate has no taste. You can feed and feed…but it will make no taste bud on your tongue tingle.

Life puts you through various tests. The idea is to see if you will survive.
I choose to and therefore I will.

Nothing will suck out the optimism that lies deeply imbedded in both me and my inner consciousness that I neither know much about nor am oblivious to its existence.

I am what I am and that’s all what I am.
Im not good. Im not evil.
Im plain ol' me.
Alive.Flawed.Human.

Monday, March 1, 2010

28 February 2010

A strong gush of wind. a horde of people clustered in a narrow corridor around a tiny little child that lay there.Red-wine like substance all around him. Gasping for air. Sipping on water. He drew his last breath. An image that will never leave my eyes.He passed away last night. I didnt know him and now I will never know him either.

At the end of it all... what will remain with me is the vacant expression in his childlike eyes. The eyes that will never see the dawn of the morning sun again...never again.

But I will say this... wherever you are...I, like all the others...hope your'e happy. Content with the life you have led.
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