tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-74128966333199641442024-03-05T02:21:18.723-08:00Hyperbole.A STRING OF MUDDLED AND MIXED THOUGHTS IN AN OVER-CROWDED HEAD!atkumhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14699745315801452861noreply@blogger.comBlogger76125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7412896633319964144.post-64177370078291284702019-02-01T09:47:00.004-08:002019-02-01T09:47:44.919-08:00To Hamsa & Anam – from Aunty M. <div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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<span style="font-family: "Freestyle Script"; font-size: 20.0pt; line-height: 107%;">Where god cannot be, he sends
his angels.</span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Freestyle Script"; font-size: 20.0pt; line-height: 107%;">In 2018, as I turned 30, I welcomed two little people into my life. These two people changed the way I
looked at things without even knowing how strong an impact they were making. My two best friends decided to give me the best presents that year and laid out the red carpet for Hamsa and Anam. These two little angels light up the world
everyday for everyone that knows them.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Freestyle Script"; font-size: 20.0pt; line-height: 107%;">As I turn 31, Hamsa is 1
and Anam has completed a beautiful 6 months of existence. As I slowly get myself
mentally prepped to someday become a mother, I want to take a few minutes to tell these
beautiful angels something that they can come back and read when they are a bit
older and where I am now.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Freestyle Script"; font-size: 20.0pt; line-height: 107%;">It’s okay to be frightened. It’s
okay to not know where your life is going. It’s okay to hurt Remember, in all
of this, life has a funny way of turning things around for you. All you need is
faith that it will get better. Faith that you will make it better. Faith that
you can. And when there is doubt, I hope I am always in your life to help you
believe that magic is real, and miracles do happen. Don’t let anyone tell you
otherwise.<o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Freestyle Script"; font-size: 20.0pt; line-height: 107%;">We are strong women- your
mothers and I but we have your fathers to thank too – not for allowing
us anything but for standing by us when we chose.I hope that you know that you can always choose and we will all stand by you. I wish that you both
find true love and friendship and that your lives are filled with joy, good health,
prosperity and peace. I wish that you continue in the footsteps of your parents and be there for your friends when they need you and even when they don't. Explore. Travel. Eat. Find careers that you love and be the fierce women you were born to be. In all of this and more, I hope that you are still kind and forgiving and generous and gracious. </span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Freestyle Script"; font-size: 20.0pt; line-height: 107%;">You both are rockstars and I consider myself absolutely lucky to have a small part in the 'large as life' lives that you are going to lead. <o:p></o:p></span></div>
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<span style="font-family: "Freestyle Script"; font-size: 20.0pt; line-height: 107%;"><b>Hamsa and Anam- This is my wish to you as we
celebrate milestones in our lives.I love you both so much. Happy Birthday to us. </b><o:p></o:p></span></div>
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atkumhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14699745315801452861noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7412896633319964144.post-70428171846217033462016-10-12T21:51:00.000-07:002016-10-12T21:51:08.095-07:00<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
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Its been 3 years since I posted anything on my blog. I remember starting this page years back with the urge to write and write and keep writing and then somewhere along the way, I lost track of what was important to me. I lost track of what made me- ME! Writing, Music, Art work... It had all come to a halt. All that, however, is going to change and its going to change now. This year (2016) has been an odd year of both good happenings and bad. This year my whole world changed. This year I have had to bear more responsibility for the person I am and who I chose/wanted to be. I moved from one side of the world to the other side. Miles and miles away from family, friends and everything that was familiar to me. My dad being unwell didn't help my confidence to do so but he thought it was the right thing for me to do- so here I am. Far away. This year I went from being an I to being part of a We. This is the year that everything was redefined. </div>
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I resigned from a really good job in January this year and have not been working since. It has given me a lot of time to ponder and procrastinate. I thought it would be a good break for me- I have, after all, been working for the better part of my adult life. I couldn't have been more wrong. I realized very quickly that I didn't like the free time. I didn't like not having anything to do. I didn't like the emptiness I felt when I was not fully vested in something. I missed the whole pace of my life that was. It's at moments like these where you realize that you need to get up, get a grip and do something to change the monotony that is this life.</div>
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My little Ronjus told me a couple of days back that I am capable of so much more and it pushed me to think of the person I used to be. I may never be able to go back and be the same but moving forward, I know the things I don't want and Im going to make sure that I make the changes that I want to see. </div>
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You guys are going to hear a lot more from me. Frequently too. :) </div>
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atkumhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14699745315801452861noreply@blogger.com1Pullman, WA 99163, USA46.7297771 -117.1817376999999946.6427071 -117.34309919999998 46.8168471 -117.02037619999999tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7412896633319964144.post-18680011770599839052013-06-24T00:15:00.003-07:002013-06-24T00:15:38.453-07:00Hyderabadrain.walk.food.travel.friends.reunions.long viber calls.<br />
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<br />
perfect beginning to a vacation.atkumhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14699745315801452861noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7412896633319964144.post-36065510135325446042013-06-01T13:39:00.001-07:002013-06-01T13:39:10.488-07:00for PTAh Birthdays! Everyone loves them. Everyone loves gifts. Everyone loves waiting till 12 and then being wished. Everyone loves blowing out the candles and cutting a cake. Whether your'e 60 or 6, for that one day- you are the star. you are what everything revolves around. and as much as people like to deny it- they do love the attention! But not Aju. Ah- we have to rewind a bit here for some history. Ajmal- or Aju as he is called by most is one of NN's friends and I was introduced to him under a tree on a rainy day. I was walking along with an umbrella held above my head when NN called me over and introduced me to this slightly muscular, tall straight faced guy who wouldn't look me in the eye. He nodded his greeting of hello and I said hey! We saw each other often after that- at some gathering or another and sometimes he would drop off a friend at my place or pick up someone from my place. He never stayed long. PT- as I call him is very easy to like once you know him. But if you don't you could be very very intimidated by him and that would be totally justified. :) Now while we are on that topic its Aju's birthday today and I actually managed to pull off a decent surprise for a man who has never celebrated his birthday! thats right! never! celebrated! never! I remember being very shocked when he told me that for that for the first time a few years back. I remember thinking then poor guy! But i was too far to really do anything for him. Bu not this time I thought. Too much time had passed without him doing something for his birthday! And that's when the wheels in my head started churning and plan came into place! :) <br />
I will never forget the look in his eyes! He was happy. Maybe for the first time he blew a candle off a cupcake because he very smartly told me not to do anything funny- which meant get him a gift or a cake! But I'm one step ahead of you. So cupcake and collage! :) <br />
I am secretly very happy that I did it. I was the reason for a smile on someone's face. And I haven't been this happy in a while! :) <br />
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So PT- HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ONE OF THE NICEST PEOPLE TO WALK PLANET EARTH. THANK YOU FOR ALWAYS LENDING A EAR WHEN I NEEDED ONE! THANK YYOU FOR BEING A TRUE GENTLEMAN AND FOR REMINDING ME THAT CHIVALRY IS NOT DEAD! I DONT KNOW HOW THE YEARS PASSED SO FAST!!! :) MUCH LOVE YOUR WAY! BIG HUGS! <a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh7nYM1Lyf_-UrF3sc-K7DN_BRb1m7-YREZkaLnKa_DcTYwTnglU5iwxvpJUuZNMzKCZJ2byrCHEdRB-97EeSuCCz0w0B34rpVhfg1vFXgMhgTyWUByp-jfWyHD3mhlio9ikW4Mar55IA/s1600/2013-03-22+20.36.17.jpg" imageanchor="1" ><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh7nYM1Lyf_-UrF3sc-K7DN_BRb1m7-YREZkaLnKa_DcTYwTnglU5iwxvpJUuZNMzKCZJ2byrCHEdRB-97EeSuCCz0w0B34rpVhfg1vFXgMhgTyWUByp-jfWyHD3mhlio9ikW4Mar55IA/s320/2013-03-22+20.36.17.jpg" /></a>atkumhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14699745315801452861noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7412896633319964144.post-48987081360656833952013-02-16T03:14:00.001-08:002013-02-22T05:19:52.952-08:00Room no:62 - happenings, secrets and hushed sniggersthere's fun in the small world of secrets and hushed discussions. Those intimate conversations that trigger a sly smile that forms on one's lips when you step out of the door. It never lets go of you. The confession of liking someone. The anger and wanting to kill someone. The silent green eyed monster that comes creeping out when no one's looking. The whispers of changes that want to be seen. The values learnt unintentionally through experiences shared. The look that comes with stealing the last biscuit. The look of fear that plays when you have broken something you shouldn't have touched. The shushing. The giggles. The stories that are served over cups of coffee and home-made food. <br />
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Bliss has a meaning of its own. Mine comes from the warmth that one feels when one is confided in. When someone shares a piece of what is theirs with me. Some knowledge changes your outlook on things. Some knowledge passes you by in the fleeting way it came. Some knowledge makes you wonder what you were doing till the day you knew it. and some knowledge- it just changes your life.<br />
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I always thought I would be the same person that I was when I walked into SBAAU. Turns out- I couldn't have been more wrong. It true what people say about how you appreciate the best things in life when you can reach them no more. Home-made food. Long phone calls in the middle of the night. Long walks. Shopping sprees. Being able to hold a friend's hand in the time of a crisis. and Secrets. Secrets that cannot be shared over an expensive ISD phone call or a hurried e-mail. <br />
I miss being able to sit down in between friends and family. Listen to them talk and just watch the way they react. <br />
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But then I think of malayalam conversations Meera and me have about the crazy elephant lady and how no one but us gets it. I think of running to Abi itha and making sure that the decisions I make are right. I think of Nazneen jiji and how I can never find anything without her- my compass.<br />
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Life is different now. I've got a hang of the loneliness. But I still move through life like someone in their sleep. I refuse to use my brain for anything wise- it falls flat on students. But i wade along. There are times when I hit the occasional rash wave. But I move on. Putting one foot in front of the other. Baby steps. <br />
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As for secrets- when was there ever a dearth of them?atkumhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14699745315801452861noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7412896633319964144.post-24383330837187939892013-01-29T11:09:00.000-08:002013-02-01T10:34:12.218-08:00Two HalvesIts been a while since I have written. I'm still not sure why I stopped writing as such. But, I'm glad that phase is over. How else am I supposed to vent? :P<br />
Well, a lot has happened since I last wrote here. Though my last post was on the 2nd of July, I think I really wrote something worthwhile on the 2nd of January 2012. <br />
It is 2013 now. I am in a different country. I am a different person. I believe in different things. I have different experiences. I react differently to different things. As you might have already guessed- 'Different' was the operative word for 2012. A month by month breakdown would have been funnier but Im lazy so I'll just sum up the year. Yes- ok- maybe it will take more time for the writing thing to come back to full force. For now...this shall do.<br />
You know how people say- Its in adversity that you know who your'e true friends are. That statement is true. Last year, I lost friends. Last year, I made new friends. Last year, I strengthened ties with old friends. Last year, I mend bridges with people. Last year, I severed bridges to the point of no return. Last year, I fell in love. Last year, I fell out of love. Last year, I cried. I laughed. I giggled. I was angry. I was excited. I was surprised. I ate. I slept. I saved. I travelled. I shopped. I spent. I went clubbing. I celebrated my birthday in all four states in South India. I wore a dress, high heels and make up. I did things that I never thought I could. I did things that I'm glad I did. I also did silly things ... but that's for another post.<br />
So to sum up- Growth, Maturity, Love, Travel and Transition. a whirlwind. 2012. <br />
2012 can be split into two halves though. Before August and after. Here's what happened after. I gave up my job. I took up a new one in a country that has changed the way I look at everything. A country- like my friend Sherin rightly put it is- "an absolute torture to your social situation". No going out. No taking long walks. No nothing. It makes you grateful for what you had. It makes you realize who you want in your life. It makes you thankful for the people who are in your life. This country that is not my own has given me friends- friends who I learn from everyday. Lessons on life. Lessons on parenting. Lessons on being strong and standing up for what you believe is right. Lessons on when to shut up and when to talk. Lessons on saying NO. Lessons on faith. on trust. on hope. <br />
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2013 has just begun. I have no idea where I will be or what I will be doing but I'm excited as I always am. Its something new to look forward to. And like always thanks are due again. I will never tire of doing this. It is necessary to let the people you love know that you love them. <br />
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Mom and Dad: Thank you. For standing up and saying that I'm old enough to make my own decisions. for being the best parents in the world. <br />
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Mrit: for trusting my decisions and supporting them as always. My better half. <br />
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Varma: for surprising me every day. for letting me go even though you thought I shouldn't go. For fighting with me for me. :*<br />
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Aarthi: you could be anywhere in the world and I know that your'e always wishing the best for me as I am for you. <br />
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Ona: For being my strength through the toughest year. for lending me your ears at all times. For understanding things that only you could. For believing in me. Unconditionally. <br />
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Ashmita: for being my Jiminy Cricket. It sums it all. <br />
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Meenamma: because I know for sure that I will always be your daughter too. <br />
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KIA: because no one else thinks as highly of me as you do. For always being there. <br />
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Ali: for being there for me. For always having my back. <br />
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Nishath: for keeping an eye on my parents for me. For always making the effort to stay in touch. Another year dude! :) <br />
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Faffa: for always checking up on me and telling me that I'm strong enough to handle anything that comes my way. <br />
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Babu: for languages. for laughter. for fun. <br />
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Vivek: for all the love. <br />
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Raouf: For always being a phone call away. I never did say thank you for October! :)<br />
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PT: because we can talk about anything and be sure that we will never judge each other. for comfort. <br />
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Pratheesh ettan & Riji chechi: for being my family away from home. <br />
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Meera: for telling me that life is not always bad. Believe in the good moments.<br />
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Abi chechi & Nasir ikka: for giving me a space in their life that I cherish. <br />
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Nazneen jiji & Suhail bhai: for still not being able to decide whose sister I am. :P <br />
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Asma begum: for khana. for chit-chat. <br />
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Majumdar,Thomas, Aravind, D, Nambiar, Jitha- Thank you. for everything. <br />
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Hiba, Dania, Minna, Mrudul, Anirudh and my darling Mani kutty- I live my childhood through you kids.<br />
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and everybody else who made 2012 wonderful for me. Thank you. <br />
If you think I have forgotten you- I havent. <br />
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B: for love. for faith. for courage. for a blue room. for memories cherished for a lifetime. for 2012. For being in my life. <3<br />
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So, 2013 dawns well for now. I stop here hoping that next year, I'll have a lot more to tell you about the new place where I am or the new people I have met. <br />
After all- What is life if your'e not seeing anything new!<br />
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Bring it on 2013!<br />
Cheers.<br />
atkumhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14699745315801452861noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7412896633319964144.post-10589927465607595072012-07-02T03:50:00.001-07:002014-07-14T01:18:56.999-07:00<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<br /></div>atkumhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14699745315801452861noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7412896633319964144.post-77910001517419814292012-07-02T03:47:00.001-07:002014-11-03T11:42:54.902-08:00<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<br /></div>atkumhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14699745315801452861noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7412896633319964144.post-28530617654177563042012-07-02T03:46:00.001-07:002012-07-02T03:56:35.043-07:00men!8 months down. 12 days away. abundance of fallen tears. conversations of skype and gmail. the hope of someone being there.
4 years. now one year away. a future envisioned. the want to philander. the thought of losing. a hurried hug. the shadow of someone walking away. petrified.
6 years. conversations. being there. not talking. talking non-stop. making sure that it stays like this. forever.
3 years. a week. clutching straws. a resolve that cannot be moved. a decision made. the end of a world as i know it.
6 years. still single. still besties. still cannot be without each other. still has the most important place with family. calming familiarity.
12 years. going off the grid. getting back on. no conversations. less conversations. more memories that with anyone yet. more memories to be made. a friendship rekindled.
6 months. purity. calmness. maturity. a new culture. a feeling of family. a goodbye hug. a 'miss-you' message. the beginning of something.
3 years. for making time. talks. ULR. hard times. decisions made. sticking together.
2 years. jokes.laughs.photos.talks.fun.food.frolic.fights.forgiveness.being close.being far. being a phone call away.always.
1 year. for listening. for talking. for being there without knowing it.
HVR,BAS,AACK,SG,NN,AAK,KIA,VCV,AM,YR- for being there. for being the men i look to. Thank you. but most importantly- JK and MJK- because without one i wouldn't be in this world and without the other- I wouldn't survive this world! I love you all.atkumhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14699745315801452861noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7412896633319964144.post-33004232462388008662012-07-02T03:30:00.001-07:002012-07-02T03:30:27.970-07:00muddled thoughtsits strange where life finally takes you. Its been a year since i have been working and now if all goes well- i am about to embark on a journey to a place that might change my life forever.
Am i happy? Am i scared? yes and no to both questions. the things that I have held onto for so long seem to slipping out of my fingers and i can do nothing but watch. I am the silent spectator. What am I viewing? My life.
What it was...What it is...What it might be!
I lie awake sometimes staring at a rotating fan on a white ceiling and try to picture what the future holds in store for me. Nothing. Blankness.
Six months since the new year started and so much has been realized. Friendships have been made. and lost. In terms of people- I am no more optimistic. just realistic. there is no one who is friends with you without an agenda. My pessimism worries me sometimes. I do not want to be the cynical-skeptical-bitch. But i am left with no choice. I refuse to be walked over. I refuse to be belittled.
this post is a little muddled. I have a lot running through my head.
Until i figure- adieu!atkumhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14699745315801452861noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7412896633319964144.post-61861026736476109042012-06-22T09:05:00.002-07:002012-06-22T09:05:21.911-07:00A blue wall. An empty room. Familiar smells. Dark outside. Raindrops at the window. Tears flowing down a cheek. Snuggled under a blanket- my lonely heart whispers- "I'm lost!"
Sunshine in the room. Shadows on a blue wall. Snuggled under a blanket- my lonely heart whispers- "I'm lonely and there is nothing you can do about it."
The one that can do somethings is far away and all that can be wished for is a safe return. Home awaits you.atkumhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14699745315801452861noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7412896633319964144.post-14266714222393120522012-04-16T05:48:00.003-07:002012-04-16T05:51:57.050-07:00Choices!choices here! choices there! choices everywhere!. some good. some bad. some happy. some sad. some necessary. some to avoid a bad ending. some because boredom has set in. some because tears wouldn't stop. some because there was no space even for a tear. some because they were easy to do. some because doing them broke my heart.<br /><br />life is full of 'life-threatening' choices- some alter your life forever. and some...become your life for as long as you can imagine- BY CHOICE!atkumhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14699745315801452861noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7412896633319964144.post-43925290205528969242012-01-02T04:34:00.000-08:002012-01-05T01:13:01.575-08:00So yes- it’s the first working day of the New Year and strangely I was stuck with no work! Me- stuck with no work does not come regularly and the people who have stood by me through the latter half of the year will agree undoubtedly. <br /><br />Anyways- without digressing further- I was sitting there in that dingy room as usual- with the cupboard that felt like it was going to fall any minute and the fan that rotated creakily, staring out of the window, listening to the silly goat that has been bleating for the past one week blare with all its heart while the cold breeze blows wisps of hair into my eyes. As all this is happening, I think back of the year that was. A year filled with transition, transformation, travel, revelations, birth, death and trouble.<br /><br />After 2 long years at CIEFL Hyderabad, it was time to move. I didn’t want to. But I did. And very reluctantly too. I came to Bangalore. For my first real job. I loved it. But as much as Hyderabad was home, Bangalore didn’t even come close. I hated it here. The feeling hasn’t changed much except now- I’ve resigned to my fate for a while. So yes- that was Transition! <br /><br />Over the past 2 years, I have come to appreciate second chances more for the simple reason that when it was necessary, I was given one. And it worked wonders for me. From being the silly girl that was pushed around and taken for granted- and it wouldn’t be wrong to say this- I metamorphosized into a strong independent woman who stood her ground and worked hard for a living. I became what my mother would call- ‘Responsible’.<br /><br />Now travel is interesting! I made it to India’s two most talked about cities- Delhi and Mumbai. Yes- the capital city and the city that never sleeps. Driving on the streets of Delhi, I was in awe of how well kept the capital was. And to top it all- the metro that made me think that it was ok if I never got to ride the Subway in NY! As for Mumbai- what do I say? The sounds, the streets, the smells, the busy trains, the double-decker bus, the jetty ride at the Gateway of India, homemade pani-puris- an Adventure of sorts. <br /><br />A loved one lost. True friends realized. A New child welcomed and an accident my family will not forget finished the year for me. <br /><br />Thank you’s are essential at the end of the year-<br /><br />Ma and Dada- for being the two most understanding and trusting parents.<br /><br />Mrit- because without you, I wouldn’t be me<br /><br />Sujeet- for letting me be me and for always being you.for being my strength and my weakness at the same time.<br /><br />Ali- for being there for me unconditionally. <br /><br />Varma- for putting up with all my crap and for being my strength during transition and other wise.<br /><br />Aarthi- Though far, you will always be close to my heart.<br /><br />Ona and Granny- for being my left and right hand.<br /><br />Nishath- because we have got through one more year of being there for each other.<br /><br />D- for giving me strength, for being brash when it was necessary and for telling me I’m capable of better things. <br /><br />Mel- for giving me a family in Bangalore and listening to me whine without any complaints.<br /><br />Polo- for finding time to listen to me rant.<br /><br />Sajeed- for being there. for long walks. for being the person that I can call at any time of the night and being my 2am friend! :) <br /><br />Vivek- For being an important reason for me to come to Calicut.<br /><br />Faffa and Mushu- for being sensible for me!<br /><br />Nambiar- For really listening to me. and for sharing things with me that you would not have with anyone else.<br /><br />Bas-sam- for being my comfort! for the rides. for the chats. for pani-puri. for making my belief firm- all arabs are not asses! <3<br /><br />Mathew George and Nakul B.M- for making Bangalore feel a little like home and a lot like George's. <br /><br />Gautami- for being my mirror-image! :* <br /><br />KIA- for loving me the way you do! <br /><br /><br />But more than anything- the most important thing this year happened 3 hours before it ended- I met him. I finally did. I realized how much I had missed him and after all these years, it felt just the same to hug him. Thank you Abel Abraham Koshy for being my friend. I know that it hasn’t been easy and we do have a lot of catching up to do – but I hope we do it! Let’s make time and get this right. I have missed having you in my life. I’m glad that a little part of you still is. And I guarantee you will always be. <br /><br />To us I dedicate- http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MyppAHX8ILE <br /><br /><br />This year, I’m jittery. I know it’s going to be another year full of transitions and travel. Maybe there might be a change of scene. Maybe there might new friends. Maybe there might be fun and frolic. Maybe there might be sadness and sorrow. But one thing is for sure- I’m ready. Embracing 2012- I say- Surprise me!atkumhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14699745315801452861noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7412896633319964144.post-81542205104242315972011-11-07T11:14:00.000-08:002011-11-07T11:36:03.489-08:00:)sucking on a lollipop, sitting in my veranda and watching it rain cats and dogs- i am reminded of things that make me happy.<br /> <br />amma- for everything she is. for everything she has made me. for pure and unconditional love in its truest form. for being my all.<br /><br />dada-for relentlessly praying for things to go right. for slogging his life off in another country so i could have what i wanted. for teaching me the importance of independence and freedom.<br /><br />Mrit- for being the more mature, smarter,cooler, funner, and more awesomer version of me. for watching my back all the time.<br /><br />Friends- for being my second family. for fun.laughter.shoulders to cry on. hugs. fights. food. masti. movies.noise. nakhra. bitching sessions. for everything that i couldnt do with my family- i did with you!<br /><br />Shoes- because i feel awesome when i try a new pair on. because they give me some sort of energy and i feel new!<br /><br />Food- because you are always there for me when i want to cry and cant. <br /><br />Bike rides- because the rush of adrenalin makes me forget what im really thinking about! <br /><br />Why am i thinking happy things?<br />because when life throws stupid curve balls at you- you gotta be ready or you'll be stumped!atkumhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14699745315801452861noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7412896633319964144.post-88220865208660819752011-09-23T01:21:00.000-07:002011-09-23T01:25:50.651-07:00What a Good Bath does:I just realized that that last time I put up a meaningful post was…a long time ago and just as I was writing that sentence I was thinking of what the word meaningful meant. What does it mean? Does it have to mean something to you or does it have to mean something to the people who spend time reading what you have written? I’m in doubt again. <br />But that’s for another post…<br />What I really felt like writing today was how I have started looking at the world differently. I have finally decided that I’m not going to be pushed to do anything that I don’t want to do. I’m not getting married to someone I don’t know. I’m not going to be registered on some stupid Matrimonial site. And I’m definitely not going to work in a place where I feel uncomfortable walking through the corridors.<br />I always thought my life would be easy- I would travel the world and meet new people and study new things and develop new passions. Turns out…I was wrong! My life revolves around a 10-6 job which sometimes goes from 9am-10pm. After what seems to be a never ending day, I come back to insipid food and endless WI-Fi connection. I know…the positives of WI-Fi- but you have to be awake to use it. And I’m generally not! Don’t get me started on the what the routine is on the weekend…then again it would be pretty easy to talk about- finishing pending work for next week, washing clothes that have been left out and finally washing off the grime of an entire week with a long bath.<br />It is just after a bath that all the nice thoughts about what I want from life come. And this is one of those moments. Me being me…it is obvious to anyone who knows me that I would have drawn up a list and you are absolutely right! So this is my list of the top twenty things- my list of things that I want to get done before I lose my streak of madness which I hope I never do…this is my bucket list. <br />1.Buy myself a Fastrack watch.<br />2.Go on an Elephant ride.<br />3.Explore all the temple architecture in Tamil Nadu.<br />4.Take Mom to the Golden Temple in Amritsar<br />5.Work for a fashion magazine<br />6.Buy a pair of Jimmy Choo Pumps<br />7.Learn to walk in Pumps. :)<br />8.Smoke a joint and get a Blowback.<br />9.Go Scuba-Diving<br />10.Stand atop the Eiffel Tower<br />11.Finish reading The Lord of the Rings<br />12.Try reading the newspaper every day.<br />13.Go for a rock concert.<br />14.Go on a road trip with my girls, stop at all the places that were not on the plan, make sure the car breaks down and then hitchhike a ride with hippies.<br />15.Get my own place. (Own a place with a loft like the one Vipurva Parikh owns.):P<br />16.Streak my hair blue/red.<br />17.Attend the Oscars (too farfetched but a girl can dream!)<br />18.Rob a Store (just for the fun of it! I’ve always wondered how it would feel to make a run for it.)<br />19.Own an Audi A7.<br />20.Make sure that I get at least five things on this list done. :)<br /><br />There’s so much more to do and even more to write about but the continuation of the list is for another post. <br /><br /><br /><br />Till then… I have a lesson plan to finish.atkumhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14699745315801452861noreply@blogger.com7tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7412896633319964144.post-84229652246554901842011-08-09T04:04:00.000-07:002011-08-09T04:23:53.308-07:00celebrating the true spirit of joblessness1. LAST MOVIE YOU SAW IN A THEATER:
<br />
<br />The Smurfs (3D)with really big weird glasses that made me look and feel weird!
<br />
<br />
<br />2. WHAT BOOK ARE YOU READING:
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<br />The Lord of the Rings. Yes... this time I am going to finish reading it however long it takes- so thank you Raouf! :)
<br />
<br />
<br />3. FAVORITE BOARD GAME:
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<br />Scrabble. Ludo with Sujeet.
<br />
<br />
<br />4. FAVORITE SOUNDS:
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<br />rain. its cliched but i love it. my dad praying in the morning. my mom in the kitchen. my phone ringing at 11. Jahnvi calling for me.
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<br />5. WORST FEELING IN THE WORLD:
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<br />baseless allegations thrown at your face make you feel like shit.so too when your'e yelled at for somebody else's mistake.
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<br />6. WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU THINK OF WHEN YOU WAKE:
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<br />I hope I dont fall or hurt myself today!
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<br />7. FAVORITE FAST FOOD PLACE:
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<br />Mcdonalds! all the way...
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<br />14. FINISH THIS STATEMENT, “IF I HAD THE TIME I WOULD…:
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<br />get more sleep. I have a feeling I'm sleeping less these days!
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<br />15. DO YOU EAT THE STEMS ON BROCCOLI? :
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<br />Yes
<br />
<br />16. IF YOU COULD DYE YOUR HAIR ANY COLOR, WHAT WOULD BE YOUR CHOICE? :
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<br />A streak of red or electric blue.
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<br />17. NAME ALL THE DIFFERENT CITIES/TOWNS YOU HAVE LIVED IN:
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<br />Calicut,Bahrain,Ooty,Hyderabad, Bangalore
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<br />18. FAVORITE SPORTS TO WATCH:
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<br />Football with Mritul and Cricket with Mom.
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<br />19. ONE NICE THING ABOUT THE PERSON WHO SENT THIS TO YOU:
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<br />I have no idea what i would have done without you in my life... loads of love your way Varma!
<br />
<br />20. WHAT’S UNDER YOUR BED? :
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<br />Chappals, Chappals and loads of Chappals.
<br />
<br />21. WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE BORN AS YOURSELF AGAIN? :
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<br />Yes.
<br />
<br />22. MORNING PERSON OR NIGHT OWL? :
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<br />"I am a creature of the night".courtesy: Hrishikesh Varma
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<br />23. FAVOURITE PLACE TO RELAX? :
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<br />Home on the sofa in front of the T.v.
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<br />atkumhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14699745315801452861noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7412896633319964144.post-4195136846110613012011-08-07T01:28:00.000-07:002011-08-07T01:29:34.238-07:00friendship day....why would you want just one day to celebrate it?atkumhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14699745315801452861noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7412896633319964144.post-14005170549987604802011-06-23T11:34:00.000-07:002011-06-23T11:44:27.489-07:00there are some people that come into your life so suddenly and you tend to wonder...are they here to stay? or are they the kind of people that will fade away as the days move by? I have finally moved out of the CIEFL phase and have officially entered office space. i have stepped out of a comfortable hostel, with my own cupboard and a wonderful roommate to a hostel where even after 2 weeks im still living out of my suitcase. i have left hyderabad and am now trying to embrace bangalore for all that it is! i thought it would be easy. but its not. I miss hyderabad. i miss university. i miss waking up to my room mate saying- "utt gayi??!" but most of all i miss the security that came with being there. everything here seems alien. like its out from some story book that i dont want to read.<br />but i know this- like all my posts end...this one will end with the optimistic note that i am famous for when i say-it will happen! bangalore will be mine soon. i will learn to like it as time goes by and maybe then we will walk hand in hand- one looking after the other. <br />until then- im cribbing! :)atkumhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14699745315801452861noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7412896633319964144.post-29637165666524400722011-05-07T13:47:00.000-07:002011-05-07T13:52:27.509-07:00To the person who understood me without really trying. love you B!kohl filled eyes well up as mumbled whispers go around;<br />a hug, a kiss, a saying of "I believe in you!"<br />as a group of people huddle and hug<br />in a corner<br /><br />one heart wonders...when next?<br />one heart wanders...through corridors, classes, tea-shops<br /><br />an empty bed!<br /><br />the first of many have left.atkumhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14699745315801452861noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7412896633319964144.post-56830891392003309792011-03-23T09:14:00.000-07:002011-03-23T09:16:13.050-07:00स्ट्रीट फ़ूड! Tomatoes and oregano make it Italian; wine and tarragon make it French. Sour cream makes it Russian; lemon and cinnamon make it Greek. Soy sauce makes it Chinese; garlic makes it good. -Alice May Brock <br /><br />Its amazing how many different cuisines there are in the world and how wonderful and distinct they are from each other. Each a different taste. Each a different colour. Each a different smell. And yet sometimes you don’t have to visit a 5 star hotel and pay am exorbitant amount to be introduced to the best kind of food in India because the cuisines are where they should be- on the street and for everyone. This post is necessary because whenever anybody travels around a new place one of the things they look for after accommodation are places where you get the best food fro the best prices and this post could just be your guide as to what a place can offer you. For starters, its one of the major misconceptions that street food is characteristic to only the rural places in India when infact one of the best places to begin your journey of eating street food is Mumbai. After all what better place to start from that from the city that never sleeps! <br /><br />I remember waking down the lanes of Mumbai, taking in the smells and the sights of the place when I stumbled into this little lane where I could smell the spice in the curry, see the sweet gooey juices around the colorful ‘jalebis’ and like any other Indian teen who likes the idea of street food…I galloped into that little street and savored what I would call one of the most exquisite food I had eaten in a while. I’m not complaining that mom makes bad food…but its “chaat” and “vada pav” we are talking about here. <br /><br />Its not just Mumbai that serves appetizing street food. In July 2010 I visited Calcutta- the city of joy and what an eye-opener it was. The ’puchkkas’ (crispy rice balls stuffed with   <br />potato and dipped in a special water that is made with spices) were outstanding to the point that when they broke in your mouth, it was a taste that I knew for sure that I was going to remember for life. And its not just the puchkkas- they serve chicken rolls, ’beguni’(fried brinjal), aloo and pyaas chops( fried potato and onion)and if you are someone with a major sweet tooth then you are in the right place. Mark my words-The variety of sweet food will astound you. Every street and lane has atleast two such shops. So if you think you have missed one, just turn the corner and another one awaits your arrival.<br /><br /> Everyone down south in India believes that Mumbai is the king of all good things that India has to offer and I choose to disagree. India on a whole- state by state- city to city, and every nook, corner and little ‘galli’ (small street) provides something special to relish and make an experience out of- and that includes the South of India as well.<br /><br />The Kerala street food market is so huge because it has a particular dish for every district- so it ranges from the ‘thattukadas’ that serve ‘thattu-dosas’(a light rice-flour   Crepe [dosa] fried in coconut oil and served with coconut chutney) to crispy chicken fry and quail eggs fried with a ‘parotta’(which is like a naan but beaten and mixed with oil). They also serve the famous banana fry and ‘parripuvada’ which is deep fried balls made of lentils. Tamil Nadu ,Karnataka and Andhra Pradesh offer delicacies in the areas of starters and desserts that will fill you with the essence of the place itself. The ghee filled ‘mysore pak’ to the‘obbattu’ to the ’kabab skewers’ its all there and it’s one adventure anyone would want to take. <br /><br />The capital just like Mumbai and the other metropolitan cities in India offers a wide range of street food all over the place and so finding a good place to sit down and eat will not be difficult at all. As someone rightly put it, India is a continent on its own and there is no country in the world probably that will give you this much of a variety all stuffed into 25 states. Pierre Auguste Renoir says: ‘It is after you have lost your teeth that you can afford to buy steaks’. So what are you waiting for. Listen to the call of the street food that awaits you- its right down that corner.<br />Bon Appetite!atkumhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14699745315801452861noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7412896633319964144.post-23012011771187879972011-02-24T06:31:00.000-08:002011-02-24T06:32:40.164-08:00Fight?Its one of those days when you realize that things can never be the same again and you are at the brim of that glass filled with utter crap! That’s how I feel right now. All of a sudden I seem to lose patience fast. All of a sudden I lose faith in the things that I have believed in all my life. All of a sudden I don’t believe in love. All of a sudden I am stuck. Its not that I’m not happy. I am. Very. It’s just that sometimes I like to see things as just black and white! I don’t want grey areas. I like it as simple as it can get and I don’t think I’m asking for too much. But then if everything in the world was that easy then ‘it’ wouldn’t be called life and there would be no incentive to get up the next day and fight!<br /><br />Fight! My mom once told me that all the good things in life are worth fighting for. And that’s what I am reminded of now-a-days. That is what I tell myself- when I look at a bad grade and decide instantly that I want to do better. That is what I tell myself when I make a mistake and hurt someone and don’t want them to give up on me. That is what I tell myself when I hold onto the rays of hope, of love, of a life with the man I love- of a new beginning. And then all of a sudden my life seems to have a meaning to it. My life is telling me that there is a purpose to it. I want to get up and stand on both my feet, breathe the air in and tell the world that I am strong. <br /><br /><br />But then again…I am left to wonder how long this will last. I am left to wonder how long I will be able to hold on. I am left to wonder how long I will fight!<br /><br /><br /><br />The answer is just where I want it to be- a silent message sent to me telling me that there is someone who believes that I am still capable of love and I always will be. Because of who I am on the inside. Because mom taught me well. Because I know that I will never give up. Because I am me. I will love. I will conquer. I will not give up. I will believe. I will breathe. I will fight. I will live.atkumhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14699745315801452861noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7412896633319964144.post-557155707594441172011-02-14T12:56:00.000-08:002011-02-14T13:43:43.961-08:00things that are new and improved.so...yes! as usual my posts are much too delayed and decayed in my brain by the time i set to really writing them but then again they are there so like i always say- I'd rather have it written down than forgotten. so...here i go! its been two weeks since i got back from my two month holiday at home and i was'nt even a decimal point thrilled to be back at the University so i sulked around for a few days and then realized that i had to make it work for myself! there was no other way.<br />I had to get through a semester; i knew that. so i got to business trying to make this semester easier for me. and guess what it worked. I just started having fun. I realized that i did'nt have to be nice to everyone. I didnt have to keep up all the social obligations i had or thought i did all the time. I did what made me happy. I lived life the way i wanted to and was happy and content at the way things were turning out. and all this mind you happened in the span of around 3 days approx. <br />Then the day dawned. i turned 23! officially. shit! i was growing old. that's when it hit me. this semester i had some major decisions to make and i have to make them keeping only me in mind. now...how the hell is that possible? ah...but the answer to that is a completely different post. <br />So back to where i was of discovering that i had to make some serious decisions- so the first one i took was of not doing a dissertation. i have always wanted to do one. since the time i set foot in this university...but then some things just don't happen the way you want it to. so that's that! days moved on in this place where all i did was watch movies, watch movies, watch movies,laze around and hang out in my room with the roomie who i have come to know and love. <br />Fourth semester did change a few things thoug. from the way i feel about Hyderabad now to the way i look at myself. its like the place and the people have done wonders for the new and improved me. and i like that. the fact that a place can help in making you stronger and ready to face the world enthralled me in the beginning but now...i just turn back and say...HELL YA! i will make it!! <br />Amidst all this chaos and confusion of discovering and re-discovering places and things, bonds have broken, been made and some strengthened over time. people have come to be respected and appreciated for what they are. secrets have been shared. a part of me finally feels accepted. and i like it. <br />So this post is dedicated to all the random trips to Maula Ali, the shopping sprees, the food outings, the randomness of just sitting around with buddies, the endless trips to kim fung and big bazaar and cribbing and eating at the mess, facebooking through the night,decorating and redecorating rooms, cups and cups of coffee, crazy assignment days, no internet confusions, loads of movies,ladies night outs, planning trips and not taking them and a lot more craziness that is yet to come. <br />so thank you...to Hyderabad; to CIEFL; to the people here; to my roomie for teaching me that its OK to be me and that its not necessary that everyone likes me.<br /><br /><br />as far as im concerned now...I'd be damn glad if someone occasionally thought i was being an ITCH with a big B right in the front of it!!! i love being me! :)atkumhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14699745315801452861noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7412896633319964144.post-65863601323402969962010-11-15T01:43:00.000-08:002010-11-15T01:53:51.166-08:00The Givers of LifeSomeone wise once said on a random google search page that "Home is the place where it feels right to walk around without shoes” and it is true.<br /><br />this is the first time in years where i have wished to go home. and now i am. to hug my dada. to rest my head in my mom's lap. to play ball with my brother. to gossip with my aunts. to babysit my cousins. to witness the birth of a new baby. a new relationship. Home is where my heart is. <br /><br />this sudden urge to go home is not owing to the fact that i am sick and would be better of at home. this post is because i realize that i am no one without the people back home. this post is to thank the two people who brought me into this world. this post if for my parents.<br /><br />this post is dedicated to all those kids who suddenly find themselves alone- look behind you. your family is just a call away.<br /><br />this post is to all the parents of the world but especially to mine- for making the person i am. i am strong because of you. i am brave because of you. i am me because of you. and i only hope and pray that i am and become half the individual that you want me to be because you two are two of the most beautiful individuals on this earth together and apart.<br /><br />you make me proud.<br /><br />p.s. Ma, We 4 are the World! (M3JK):)atkumhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14699745315801452861noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7412896633319964144.post-40832707642893616162010-11-11T21:37:00.000-08:002010-11-11T21:58:12.422-08:00this has been put off for a really long time but then again i can still hear my heart in my mouth every time i cough. This past week has been about nothing but rest and major amounts of sleep. all the sleep i have missed this semester. all the dreams that were waiting to be seen. all the realities that we were ready to be acknowledged. everything. this week did that for me. <br />it all started out with a random conversation with a friend at around 01:30 am and the next thing i know i've decided to take a bike trip to HCU at that time of the night. so i came back and changed into something more comfortable and carried a bag with little things like food and water too. when i stepped out to go i was so pumped-it was unbelievable! i hadn't felt like that in a really long time.<br />it normally takes 40 minutes or more by bus if you want to get to HCU(Hyderabad Central University)-it took us 25. the minute iset foot in there, it was cold. chilly. like i could smell the unpollutedness(if there is such a word)of the air inside and it was mesmerizing. Four hours of circling the campus and i still had so much more to see but then my human instincts of hunger had to come in the way so we left. there is something i have not mentioned- when we left campus he did tell me that there was a surprise in store. i had forgotten about it until we left the campus and he said-" when i tell you to hang on tight, you hang on tight. got it?" i remember vaguely thinking-ya right! what could be so surprising? but was i in the most awesomest ride ever. <br />so we are still riding.riding.riding. and then he says it and i can see the road- a curve, a downhill, an uphill and then a curve again. nice road i thought. smooth road. i clung on tightly. as tightly as i could and was i glad i did. at 110km/hr that has got to be one of the finest moments ever. the surge of adrenaline.the wind beating at your ears. a roller coaster ride without getting in one. <br />well...we did get back in one piece and after breakfast at Reddy's, i treated myself to an amazing nap. <br />now here comes the hard part- i caught a cold. i thought-hah! its just a cold...it will pass! it did not.i was cold. my body ached. it went on to be a fever. then my body was burning up. and then i couldnt taste what i was eating. all because i ignored a common cold. <br /><br /><br /><span style="font-weight:bold;">moral of the story: If you have caught it, treat it! </span>atkumhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14699745315801452861noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7412896633319964144.post-5326952267726206152010-09-19T13:30:00.000-07:002010-09-19T13:46:31.384-07:00The city of Joyso on the 16th of july i realise that my life has been nothing but a series of plans that have and have not worked...the latter being the more relevant one so i decided that i was going to pack my bags and leave-go anywhere-go do something that i had never done before. not make any plans but just follow what my heart was telling me to do and my head was objecting to. <br />so i book tickets to one of the places that i have always wanted to visit my entire life and i find that there are 2 tickets left...just my luck! :) so ya...i go. with one bag, eyes full of dreams and nothing but love in my heart- i go to the city of joy!<br />a train ride through the north of India and i am ecstatic. its unbelievable how similar it looks to the south. when i was growing up people always said that the north was a barren land- and rajasthan was the example but what they forgot to mention was that punjab was also a part of that very same north of India. <br />it was awesome looking out of that window and knowing that this was the first of many such trips to come and the idea sent a jolt down my spine- i was growing up. i was travellign alone.to a new place. and it felt good. <br />The city of joy opened its heart out to me with a splash and a nice one too! but as i crossed the howrah bridge the feeling of being there was mesmerising. it felt like home. and i had never been there before. the smell of the roads filled with food stalls all over and the mouth-watering sweet shops- i lose words when i have to write about them. my highlight about the place was something the people there call-"puchka"! i love it. the way it crackles in my mouth when it bursts. the spicy water that goes down your throat- refreshing. <br />walks on the street there, long awaited meetings with friends, and just randomly sitting around talking. there was nothing more i could have asked for from this trip. <br />when i left to come back to where i supposedly belong atleast for the next few months it was heartbreaking... and as i got on that train and travelled back the same way i had gone there it felt like i had left a piece of me there and i knew then...i knew...<br /><br />that i would have to go back there someday to reclaim what was mine. to reclaim what i had willingly given to "the city of joy".atkumhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/14699745315801452861noreply@blogger.com3