Fight?

Its one of those days when you realize that things can never be the same again and you are at the brim of that glass filled with utter crap! That’s how I feel right now. All of a sudden I seem to lose patience fast. All of a sudden I lose faith in the things that I have believed in all my life. All of a sudden I don’t believe in love. All of a sudden I am stuck. Its not that I’m not happy. I am. Very. It’s just that sometimes I like to see things as just black and white! I don’t want grey areas. I like it as simple as it can get and I don’t think I’m asking for too much. But then if everything in the world was that easy then ‘it’ wouldn’t be called life and there would be no incentive to get up the next day and fight!

Fight! My mom once told me that all the good things in life are worth fighting for. And that’s what I am reminded of now-a-days. That is what I tell myself- when I look at a bad grade and decide instantly that I want to do better. That is what I tell myself when I make a mistake and hurt someone and don’t want them to give up on me. That is what I tell myself when I hold onto the rays of hope, of love, of a life with the man I love- of a new beginning. And then all of a sudden my life seems to have a meaning to it. My life is telling me that there is a purpose to it. I want to get up and stand on both my feet, breathe the air in and tell the world that I am strong.


But then again…I am left to wonder how long this will last. I am left to wonder how long I will be able to hold on. I am left to wonder how long I will fight!



The answer is just where I want it to be- a silent message sent to me telling me that there is someone who believes that I am still capable of love and I always will be. Because of who I am on the inside. Because mom taught me well. Because I know that I will never give up. Because I am me. I will love. I will conquer. I will not give up. I will believe. I will breathe. I will fight. I will live.